Reminder: To Love.

Love. A very simple word. A powerful expression.

Have you ever fell in love and hoping that the other person loves you too? Have you ever had this thought: “How nice if he/she loves me too…”; Perhaps you have heard it in weddings or movies: “How lucky I am to meet you and fall in love with you!”

Imagine this: You found out that the person you secretly admire actually loves you too, even more than you love him/her, even earlier before you fell for him/her. What is the first thought that would come to your mind? I think mine will be “OMG! I must be the luckiest person alive for this to happen on me!”

Jesus loves me, this I know.

One day, I was just mind-wandering, and this thought came in: “God loves me, and I love Him too! Aren’t this the greatest thing on earth?! Aren’t this makes me the luckiest girl in the universe?!” ... You must be wondering why am I so excited about this? Is not a new info. … This is because with this thought comes a realization, not everyone gets to love God in return, not everyone gets to experience a two-way relationship with God (and one-sided love has always been the saddest love).

I’m a second-gen Christian, since young, I’ve been taught that God loves me and I should love Him too. It seems like an ‘automatic’ thing that I didn’t realized how privilege I am. The Word says that we are chosen (John 15:16), which means that God choose me to know this truth since the day I was born. Never in a day in my life I lived without God’s love. Let’s digest this fact together, the Creator of the universe, the King of Kings, the Almighty God is there 24/7 ‘at my service’. … *lost for words*

However, how many times we put God in the waiting list, in the ‘not-so-important’ list? Confession: I often get distracted chasing after my own desires, spending more time fangirling, while I should be reading His Word and spend time with Him.

Have you ever tried putting in so much effort in getting that person you love to fall in love with you too? I did. I remember it being a very tough and sorrow process. Then I think to myself, how dare I? How. Dare. I.? Neglecting God and let Him go through that process of ‘chasing’ after me? Who am I to do this? Having God to love me is already the greatest privilege, how dare I take it for granted? … Is it because it was given freely? Is it because it’s always there? Is it because the Word says “His grace and mercy are new every morning?” Is it because the Word says “He will never leave us nor forsake us.”?

Yes, by His nature, God will never leave, He will always be there waiting for us to turn back to be in His arms. His love will never decrease nor change because of our actions. Yet, that doesn’t give us the pass to ‘test’ His love. This whole thought process reminds me of how great God’s love is, and how blessed I am to get to love Him too. Nothing should overtake this sacred love.

Teach me how to love.

A book that I’m reading recently wrote that one thing in common for all human being is ‘love’, love is the only thing we can’t avoid in life, all sorts of love. True?... Love for family & friends; Love for your partner; Love towards hobby & passion; Love for success & fame; and more. The only difference is the portion of these ‘love’ in your life, some may take more attention and care, some lesser.

I used to think that love has to be two-ways, has to be equal, has to be ‘in-return’. That perspective of: “I’ll only love you, if you love me too.”; vice versa “Because you love me so much, I will love you equally much as well.” When someone did something for me, I will have this thought that I must return back with something equal. This is not a wrong mindset, but it can be exhausting sometimes, and can mislead to certain actions that wasn’t done out of love but sense of duty. It is like walking on thin ice, always concerning if I have done enough to worth that love. For quite a season, that results to me unable to love others (genuinely) so easily.

So I understand certain people when they can’t open up themselves so quickly, when they keep a distance; Not that they are not willing to, but is just an automated self-protect reaction. It may be from the past experiences, it may be the hurt that’s too pain to forget, the lessons that paid a hard price.

For the past few years till now, one of my prayer to God has always been “Teach me how to love You did, Lord.”. Funny isn’t it? Love is a nature of human being, however, I need to ask God each day to teach me how to love. … Yeah, because is so easy to ‘turn off’ and to not love anymore. However, that’s not the ‘zombie’ life we should be living. God taught me that love can be given freely; is okay to love even if others don't love you, or you don't receive the same amount of love in return, because He loves me and that's enough. This overflowing love should be 'poured' to others too.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. - Ephesians 5:1-2a (NLT)

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. - 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NLT)

To whoever that’s reading this, no matter you’re a believer or not, if there’s any slight moment that you felt no one on earth understands you, or you don’t see a single hope. I want you to know that you can reach out to this God that I’ve been loving all this while. This God that is so, so real to me. This God light up my path and kept me alive during my darkest days.

Living on earth, we can’t avoid pain, challenges, failure, even death (especially in this pandemic). Yet, despite facing all these in life, know that God loves you, and He has given you the ‘ticket’ to love Him too. It may not be a fairytale kind of ‘happily ever after’, but I can guarantee that if you surrender your heart to Him, He will too give you His all, in fact He already did.